Learn these subtle cues to gain influence.

Hate being ignored?

As a 24-year-old, I struggled at work. Attention-getting tips How to avoid being judged by my size, gender, and lack of wrinkles or gray hair?

I've learned seniority hacks. Influence. Within two years as a product manager, I led a team. I'm a Stanford MBA student.

These communication hacks can make you look senior and influential.

1. Slowly speak

We speak quickly because we're afraid of being interrupted.

When I doubt my ideas, I speak quickly. How can we slow down? Jamie Chapman says speaking slowly saps our energy.

Chapman suggests emphasizing certain words and pausing.

2. Interrupted? Stop the stopper

Someone interrupt your speech?

Don't wait. "May I finish?" No pause needed. Stop interrupting. I first tried this in Leadership Laboratory at Stanford. How quickly I gained influence amazed me.

Next time, try “May I finish?” If that’s not enough, try these other tips from Wendy R.S. O’Connor.

3. Context

Others don't always see what's obvious to you.

Through explanation, you help others see the big picture. If a senior knows it, you help them see where your work fits.

4. Don't ask questions in statements

“Your statement lost its effect when you ended it on a high pitch,” a group member told me. Upspeak, it’s called. I do it when I feel uncertain.

Upspeak loses influence and credibility. Unneeded. When unsure, we can say "I think." We can even ask a proper question.

Someone else's boasting is no reason to be dismissive. As leaders and colleagues, we should listen to our colleagues even if they use this speech pattern.

Give your words impact.

5. Signpost structure

Signposts improve clarity by providing structure and transitions.

Communication coach Alexander Lyon explains how to use "first," "second," and "third" He explains classic and summary transitions to help the listener switch topics.

Signs clarify. Clarity matters.

6. Eliminate email fluff

“Fine. When will the report be ready? — Jeff.”

Notice how senior leaders write short, direct emails? I often use formalities like "dear," "hope you're well," and "kind regards"

Formality is (usually) unnecessary.

7. Replace exclamation marks with periods

See how junior an exclamation-filled email looks:

Hi, all!
Hope you’re as excited as I am for tomorrow! We’re celebrating our accomplishments with cake! Join us tomorrow at 2 pm!
See you soon!

Why the exclamation points? Why not just one?

Hi, all.
Hope you’re as excited as I am for tomorrow. We’re celebrating our accomplishments with cake. Join us tomorrow at 2 pm!
See you soon.

8. Take space

"Playing high" means having an open, relaxed body, says Stanford professor and author Deborah Gruenfield.

Crossed legs or looking small? Relax. Get bigger.

Ready to quit full-time? No worries.

Baby Boomer retirement has accelerated since COVID-19 began. In 2020, 29 million boomers retire. Over 3 million more than in 2019. 75 million Baby Boomers will retire by 2030.

First, quit your work to enjoy retirement. Leave a professional legacy. Your retirement will start well. It all starts with a retirement letter.

Retirement Letter

Retirement letters are formal resignation letters. Different from other resignation letters, these don't tell your employer you're leaving. Instead, you're quitting.

Since you're not departing over grievances or for a better position or higher income, you may usually terminate the relationship amicably. Consulting opportunities are possible.

Thank your employer for their support and give them transition information.

Resignation letters aren't merely a formality. This method handles wages, insurance, and retirement benefits.

Retirement letters often accompany verbal notices to managers. Schedule a meeting before submitting your retirement letter to discuss your plans. The letter will be stored alongside your start date, salary, and benefits in your employee file.

Retirement is typically well-planned. Employers want 6-12 months' notice.

Summary

• Guidelines for Giving Retirement Notice

• Components of a Successful Retirement Letter

• Template for Retirement Letter

• Ideas for Samples of Retirement Letters

• First Example of Retirement Letter

• Second Example of Retirement Letter

• Third Example of Retirement Letter

• Fourth Example of Retirement Letter

• Fifth Example of Retirement Letter

• Sixth Example of Retirement Letter

• Seventh Example of Retirement Letter

• Eighth Example of Retirement Letter

• Ninth Example of Retirement Letter

• Tenth Example of Retirement Letter

• Frequently Asked Questions

• 1. What is a letter of retirement?

• 2. Why should you include a letter of retirement?

• 3. What information ought to be in your retirement letter?

• 4. Must I provide notice?

• 5. What is the ideal retirement age?

Guidelines for Giving Retirement Notice

While starting a new phase, you're also leaving a job you were qualified for. You have years of experience. So, it may not be easy to fill a retirement-related vacancy.

Talk to your boss in person before sending a letter. Notice is always appreciated. Properly announcing your retirement helps you and your organization transition.

How to announce retirement:

• Learn about the retirement perks and policies offered by the company. The first step in figuring out whether you're eligible for retirement benefits is to research your company's retirement policy.

• Don't depart without providing adequate notice. You should give the business plenty of time to replace you if you want to retire in a few months.

• Help the transition by offering aid. You could be a useful resource if your replacement needs training.

• Contact the appropriate parties. The original copy should go to your boss. Give a copy to HR because they will manage your 401(k), pension, and health insurance.

• Investigate the option of working as a consultant or part-time. If you desire, you can continue doing some limited work for the business.

• Be nice to others. Describe your achievements and appreciation. Additionally, express your gratitude for giving you the chance to work with such excellent coworkers.

• Make a plan for your future move. Simply updating your employer on your goals will help you maintain a good working relationship.

• Use a formal letter or email to formalize your plans. The initial step is to speak with your supervisor and HR in person, but you must also give written notice.

Components of a Successful Retirement Letter

To write a good retirement letter, keep in mind the following:

• A formal salutation. Here, the voice should be deliberate, succinct, and authoritative.

• Be specific about your intentions. The key idea of your retirement letter is resignation. Your decision to depart at this time should be reflected in your letter. Remember that your intention must be clear-cut.

• Your deadline. This information must be in resignation letters. Laws and corporate policies may both stipulate a minimum amount of notice.

• A kind voice. Your retirement letter shouldn't contain any resentments, insults, or other unpleasantness. Your letter should be a model of professionalism and grace. A straightforward thank you is a terrific approach to accomplish that.

• Your ultimate goal. Chaos may start to happen as soon as you turn in your resignation letter. Your position will need to be filled. Additionally, you will have to perform your obligations up until a successor is found. Your availability during the interim period should be stated in your resignation letter.

• Give us a way to reach you. Even if you aren't consulting, your company will probably get in touch with you at some point. They might send you tax documents and details on perks. By giving your contact information, you can make this process easier.

Template for Retirement Letter

Identify

Title you held

Address

Supervisor's name

Supervisor’s position

Company name

HQ address

Date

[SUPERVISOR],

1.

Inform that you're retiring. Include your last day worked.

2.

Employer thanks. Mention what you're thankful for. Describe your accomplishments and successes.

3.

Helping moves things ahead. Plan your retirement. Mention your consultancy interest.

Sincerely,

[Signature]

First and last name

Phone number

Personal Email

Ideas for Samples of Retirement Letters

First Example of Retirement Letter

Martin D. Carey

123 Fleming St

Bloomfield, New Jersey 07003

(555) 555-1234

June 6th, 2022

Willie E. Coyote

President

Acme Co

321 Anvil Ave

Fairfield, New Jersey 07004

Dear Mr. Coyote,

This letter notifies Acme Co. of my retirement on August 31, 2022.

There has been no other organization that has given me that sense of belonging and purpose.

My fifteen years at the helm of the Structural Design Division have given me‌ ‌a‌ ‌strong sense‌ ‌of‌ ‌purpose. I’ve been fortunate to have your support, and I’ll be always grateful for the opportunity you offered me.

I had a difficult time making this decision. ‌As a result of finding a small property in Arizona where we will be able to spend our remaining days together, my wife and I have decided to officially retire.

In spite of my regret at being unable to contribute to the firm we’ve built, I believe it is wise to move on.

My heart will always belong to Acme Co. ‌Thank you for the opportunity and best of luck in the years to come.

Sincerely,

Martin D. Carey

Second Example of Retirement Letter

Gustavo Fring

Los Pollas Hermanos

12000–12100 Coors Rd SW,

Albuquerque, New Mexico 87045

Dear Mr. Fring,

I write this letter to announce my formal retirement from Los Pollas Hermanos as manager, effective October 15.

As an employee at Los Pollas Hermanos, I appreciate all the great opportunities you have given me. ‌It has been a pleasure to work with and learn from my colleagues for the past 10 years, and I am looking forward to my next challenge.

If there is anything I can do to assist during this time, please let me know.

Sincerely,

Linda T. Crespo

Third Example of Retirement Letter

William M. Arviso

4387 Parkview Drive

Tustin, CA 92680

May 2, 2023

Tony Stark

Owner

Stark Industries

200 Industrial Avenue

Long Beach, CA 90803

Dear Tony:

I’m writing to inform you that my final day of work at Stark Industries will be May14, 2023. ‌When that time comes, I intend‌ ‌to‌ ‌retire.

As I embark on this new chapter in my life, I would like to thank you and the entire Stark Industries team for providing me with so many opportunities. ‌You have all been a pleasure to work with and I will miss you all when I retire.

I am glad to assist you with the transition in any way I can to ensure your new hire has a seamless experience. ‌All ongoing projects will be completed until my retirement date, and all key information will be handed over‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌team.

Once again, thank you for the opportunity to be part of the Stark Industries team. ‌All the best to you and the team in the days to come.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require any additional information. ‌In order to finalize my retirement plans, I’ll meet with HR and can provide any details that may be necessary.

Sincerely,

(Signature)

William M. Arviso

Fourth Example of Retirement Letter

Garcia, Barbara

First Street, 5432

New York City, NY 10001

(1234) (555) 123–1234

1 October 2022

Gunther

Owner

Central Perk

199 Lafayette St.

New York City, NY 10001

Mr. Gunther,

The day has finally arrived. ‌As I never imagined, I will be formally retiring from Central Perk on November 1st, 2022.

Considering how satisfied I am with my current position, this may surprise you. ‌It would be best if I retired now since my health has deteriorated, so I think this is a good time to do so.

There is no doubt that the past‌ ‌two‌ ‌decades‌ ‌have‌ ‌been‌ ‌wonderful. ‌Over the years, I have seen a small coffee shop grow into one of the city’s top‌ ‌destinations.

It will be hard for me to leave this firm without wondering what more success we could have achieved. But I’m confident that you and the rest of the Central Perk team will achieve great things.

My family and I will never forget what you’ve done for us, and I am grateful for the chance you’ve given me. My house is always open to you.

Sincerely Yours

Garcia, Barbara

Fifth Example of Retirement Letter

Pat Williams

618 Spooky Place

Monstropolis, 23221

123–555–0031

pwilliams@email.com

Feb. 16, 2022

Mike Wazowski

Co-CEO

Monters, Inc.

324 Scare Road

Monstropolis

Dear Mr. Wazowski,

As a formal notice of my upcoming retirement, I am submitting this letter. ‌I will be leaving Monters, Inc. on‌ ‌April‌ ‌13.

These past 10 years as a marketing associate have provided me with many opportunities. ‌Since we started our company a decade ago, we have seen the face of harnessing screams change dramatically into harnessing laughter. ‌During my time working with this dynamic marketing team, I learned a lot about customer behavior and marketing strategies. ‌Working closely with some of our long-standing clients, such as Boo, was a particular pleasure.

I would be happy to‌ ‌assist‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌ ‌transition‌ ‌following‌ ‌my‌ ‌retirement. ‌It would be my pleasure to assist in the hiring or training of‌ ‌my‌ ‌replacement. ‌In order to spend more time with my family, I will also be able to offer part-time consulting services.

After I retire, I plan to cash out the eight unused vacation days I’ve accumulated and take my pension as a lump sum.

Thank you for the opportunity to work with Monters, Inc. ‌In the years to come, I wish you all the best!

Sincerely,

Paul Williams

Sixth Example of Retirement Letter

Dear Micheal,

As In my tenure at Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, I have given everything I had. It has been an honor to work here. But‌ ‌I‌ ‌have‌ ‌decided‌ ‌to‌ ‌move on to new challenges and retire from my position — mainly bears, beets, and Battlestar Galactia.

I appreciate the opportunity to work here and learn so much. During my time at this company, I will always remember the good times and memories we shared. Wishing you all the best in the future.

Sincerely,

Dwight K. Shrute

Your signature

May 16

Seventh Example of Retirement Letter

Greetings, Bill

I am announcing my retirement from Initech, effective March 15, 2023.

Over the course of my career here, I’ve had the privilege of working with so many talented and inspiring people.

In 1999, when I began working as a customer service representative, we were a small organization located in a remote office park.

The fact that we now occupy a floor of the Main Street office building with over 150 employees continues to amaze me.

I am looking forward to spending more time with family and traveling the country in our RV. Although I will be sad to leave.

Please let me know if there are any extra steps I can take to facilitate this transfer.

Sincerely,

Frankin, RenitaEighth Example of Retirement Letter

Height Example of Retirement Letter

Bruce,

Please accept my resignation from Wayne Enterprises as Marketing Communications Director. My last day will be August 1, 2022.

The decision to retire has been made after much deliberation. Now that I have worked in the field for forty years, I believe it is a good time to begin completing my bucket list.

It was not easy for me to decide to leave the company. Having worked at Wayne Enterprises has been rewarding both professionally and personally. There are still a lot of memories associated with my first day as a college intern.

My intention was not to remain with such an innovative company, as you know. I was able to see the big picture with your help, however. Today, we are a force that is recognized both nationally and internationally.

In addition to your guidance, the bold, visionary leadership of our company contributed to the growth of our company.

My departure from the company coincides with a particularly hectic time. Despite my best efforts, I am unable to postpone my exit.

My position would be well served by an internal solution. I have a more than qualified marketing manager in Caroline Crown. It would be a pleasure to speak with you about this.

In case I can be of assistance during the switchover, please let me know. Contact us at (555)555–5555. As part of my responsibilities, I am responsible for making sure all work is completed to Wayne Enterprise’s stringent requirements. Having the opportunity to work with you has been a pleasure. I wish you continued success with your thriving business.

Sincerely,

Cash, Cole

Marketing/Communications

Ninth Example of Retirement Letter

Norman, Jamie

2366 Hanover Street

Whitestone, NY 11357

555–555–5555

jamie.norman@email.com

15 October 2022

Mr. Lippman

Head of Pendant Publishing

600 Madison Ave.

New York, New York

Respected Mr. Lippman,

Please accept my resignation effective‌ ‌November‌ ‌1,‌ ‌2022.

Over the course of my ten years at Pendant Publishing, I’ve had a great deal of fun and I’m quite grateful for all the assistance I’ve received.

It was a pleasure to wake up and go to work every day because of our outstanding corporate culture and the opportunities for promotion and professional advancement available to me.

While‌ ‌I am excited about retiring, I am going to miss being part of our team. ‌It’s my hope that I’ll be able to maintain the friendships I’ve formed here for a long time to come.

In case I can be of assistance prior to or following my departure, please let me know. ‌If I can assist in any way to ensure a smooth transfer to my successor, I would be delighted to do so.

Sincerely,

Signed (hard copy letter)

Norman, Jamie

Tenth Example of Retirement Letter

17 January 2023

Greg S. Jackson

Cyberdyne Systems

18144 El Camino Real,

Sunnyvale, CA

Respected Mrs. Duncan,

I‌ ‌am‌ ‌writing‌ ‌to‌ ‌inform you that I will be resigning from Cyberdyne Systems as of March 1, 2023. I’m grateful to have had this opportunity, and it was a difficult decision to make.

My development as a programmer and as a more seasoned member of the organization has been greatly assisted by your coaching.

I have been proud of Cyberdyne Systems’ ethics and success throughout my 25 years at the company. Starting as a mailroom clerk and currently serving as head programmer.

The portfolios of our clients have always been handled with the greatest care by my colleagues. It is our employees and services that have made Cyberdyne Systems the success it is today.

During my tenure as head of my division, I’ve increased our overall productivity by 800 percent, and I expect that trend to continue after‌ ‌I‌ ‌retire.

In light of the fact that the process of replacing me may take some time, I would like to offer my assistance in any way I can.

The greatest contender for this job is Troy Ledford, my current assistant.

Also, before I leave, I would be willing to teach any partners how to use the programmer I developed to track and manage the development of Skynet.

Over the next few months, I’ll be enjoying vacations with my wife as well as my granddaughter moving‌ ‌to‌ ‌college.

If Cyberdyne Systems has any openings for consultants, please let me know. ‌It has been a pleasure working with you over the last 25 years. I appreciate your concern and care.

Sincerely,

Greg S, Jackson

Questions and Answers

1. What is a letter of retirement?

Retirement letters tell your supervisor you're retiring. This informs your employer that you're departing, like a letter. A resignation letter also requests retirement benefits.

Supervisors frequently receive retirement letters and verbal resignations. Before submitting your retirement letter, meet to discuss your plans. This letter will be filed with your start date, salary, and benefits.

2. Why should you include a letter of retirement?

Your retirement letter should explain why you're leaving. When you quit, your manager and HR department usually know. Regardless, a retirement letter might help you leave on a positive tone. It ensures they have the necessary papers.

In your retirement letter, you tell the firm your plans so they can find your replacement. You may need to stay in touch with your company after sending your retirement letter until a successor is identified.

3. What information ought to be in your retirement letter?

Format it like an official letter. Include your retirement plans and retirement-specific statistics. Date may be most essential.

In some circumstances, benefits depend on when you resign and retire. A date on the letter helps HR or senior management verify when you gave notice and how long.

In addition to your usual salutation, address your letter to your manager or supervisor.

The letter's body should include your retirement date and transition arrangements. Tell them whether you plan to help with the transition or train a new employee. You may have a three-month time limit.

Tell your employer your job title, how long you've worked there, and your biggest successes. Personalize your letter by expressing gratitude for your career and outlining your retirement intentions. Finally, include your contact info.

4. Must I provide notice?

Two-week notice isn't required. Your company may require it. Some state laws contain exceptions.

Check your contract, company handbook, or HR to determine your retirement notice. Resigning may change the policy.

Regardless of your company's policy, notification is standard. Entry-level or junior jobs can be let go so the corporation can replace them.

Middle managers, high-level personnel, and specialists may take months to replace. Two weeks' notice is a courtesy. Start planning months ahead.

You can finish all jobs at that period. Prepare transition documents for coworkers and your replacement.

5. What is the ideal retirement age?

Depends on finances, state, and retirement plan. The average American retires at 62. The average retirement age is 66, according to Gallup's 2021 Economy and Personal Finance Survey.

Remember:

• Before the age of 59 1/2, withdrawals from pre-tax retirement accounts, such as 401(k)s and IRAs, are subject to a penalty.

• Benefits from Social Security can be accessed as early as age 62.

• Medicare isn't available to you till you're 65,

• Depending on the year of your birth, your Full Retirement Age (FRA) will be between 66 and 67 years old.

• If you haven't taken them already, your Social Security benefits increase by 8% annually between ages 6 and 77.

Prioritize big-ticket purchases

I've made several spending blunders. I get sick thinking about how much money I spent.

My financial mental model was poor back then.

Stoicism and mindfulness keep me from attaching to those feelings. It still hurts.

Until four or five years ago, I bought a new winter jacket every year.

Ten years ago, I spent twice as much. Now that I have a fantastic, warm winter parka, I don't even consider acquiring another one. No more spending. I'm not looking for jackets either.

Saving time and money by spending well is my thinking paradigm.

The philosophy is expressed in most languages. Cheap is expensive in the Netherlands. This applies beyond shopping.

In this essay, I will offer three examples of how this mental paradigm transformed my financial life.

Publishing books

In 2015, I presented and positioned my first book poorly.

I called the book Huge Life Success and made a funny Canva cover in 30 minutes. This:

That looks nothing like my present books. No logo or style. The book felt amateurish.

The book started bothering me a few weeks after publication. The advice was good, but it didn't appear professional. I studied the book business extensively.

I created a style for all my designs. Branding. Win Your Inner Wars was reissued a year later.

Title, cover, and description changed. Rearranging the chapters improved readability.

Seven years later, the book sells hundreds of copies a month. That taught me a lot.

Rushing to finish a project is enticing. Send it and move forward.

Avoid rushing everything. Relax. Develop your projects. Perform well. Perform the job well.

My first novel was underfunded and underworked. A bad book arrived. I then invested time and money in writing the greatest book I could.

That book still sells.

Traveling

I hate travel. Airports, flights, trains, and lines irritate me.

But, I enjoy traveling to beautiful areas.

I do it strangely. I make up travel rules. I never go to airports in summer. I hate being near airports on holidays. Unworthy.

No vacation packages for me. Those airline packages with a flight, shuttle, and hotel. I've had enough.

I try to avoid crowds and popular spots. July Paris? Nuts and bolts, please. Christmas in NYC? No, please keep me sane.

I fly business class behind. I accept upgrades upon check-in. I prefer driving. I drove from the Netherlands to southern Spain.

Thankfully, no lines. What if travel costs more? Thus? I enjoy it from the start. I start traveling then.

I rarely travel since I'm so difficult. One great excursion beats several average ones.

Personal effectiveness

New apps, tools, and strategies intrigue most productivity professionals.

No.

I researched years ago. I spent years investigating productivity in university.

I bought books, courses, applications, and tools. It was expensive and time-consuming.

Im finished. Productivity no longer costs me time or money. OK. I worked on it once and now follow my strategy.

I avoid new programs and systems. My stuff works. Why change winners?

Spending wisely saves time and money.

Spending wisely means spending once. Many people ignore productivity. It's understudied. No classes.

Some assume reading a few articles or a book is enough. Productivity is personal. You need a personal system.

Time invested is one-time. You can trust your system for life once you find it.

Concentrate on the expensive choices.

Life's short. Saving money quickly is enticing.

Spend less on groceries today. True. That won't fix your finances.

Adopt a lifestyle that makes you affluent over time. Consider major choices.

Are they causing long-term poverty? Are you richer?

Leasing cars comes to mind. The automobile costs a fortune today. The premium could accomplish a million nice things.

Focusing on important decisions makes life easier. Consider your future. You want to improve next year.

We've fought for humanity's sake. We need equilibrium.

We live in a world of opposites (black/white, up/down, love/hate), thus life is a game of achieving equilibrium. We have a universe of paradoxes within ourselves, not just in physics.

Individually, you balance your intellect and heart, but as a species, we're full of polarities. They might be gentle and compassionate, then ruthless and unsympathetic.

We desire for connection so much that we personify non-human beings and objects while turning to violence and hatred toward others. These contrasts baffle me. Will we find balance?

Anthropomorphization

Assigning human-like features or bonding with objects is common throughout childhood. Cartoons often give non-humans human traits. Adults still anthropomorphize this trait. Researchers agree we start doing it as infants and continue throughout life.

Humans of all ages are good at humanizing stuff. We build emotional attachments to weather events, inanimate objects, animals, plants, and locales. Gods, goddesses, and fictitious figures are anthropomorphized.

Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, features anthropization. Hanks is left on an island, where he builds an emotional bond with a volleyball he calls Wilson.

We became emotionally invested in Wilson, including myself.

Why do we do it, though?

Our instincts and traits helped us survive and thrive. Our brain is alert to other people's thoughts, feelings, and intentions to assist us to determine who is safe or hazardous. We can think about others and our own mental states, or about thinking. This is the Theory of Mind.

Neurologically, specialists believe the Theory of Mind has to do with our mirror neurons, which exhibit the same activity while executing or witnessing an action.

Mirror neurons may contribute to anthropization, but they're not the only ones. In 2021, Harvard Medical School researchers at MGH and MIT colleagues published a study on the brain's notion of mind.

“Our study provides evidence to support theory of mind by individual neurons. Until now, it wasn’t clear whether or how neurons were able to perform these social cognitive computations.”

Neurons have particular functions, researchers found. Others encode information that differentiates one person's beliefs from another's. Some neurons reflect tale pieces, whereas others aren't directly involved in social reasoning but may multitask contributing factors.

Combining neuronal data gives a precise portrait of another's beliefs and comprehension. The theory of mind describes how we judge and understand each other in our species, and it likely led to anthropomorphism. Neuroscience indicates identical brain regions react to human or non-human behavior, like mirror neurons.

Some academics believe we're wired for connection, which explains why we anthropomorphize. When we're alone, we may anthropomorphize non-humans.

Humanizing non-human entities may make them deserving of moral care, according to another theory. Animamorphizing something makes it responsible for its actions and deserves punishments or rewards. This mental shift is typically apparent in our connections with pets and leads to deanthropomorphization.

Dehumanization

Dehumanizing involves denying someone or anything ethical regard, the opposite of anthropomorphizing.

Dehumanization occurs throughout history. We do it to everything in nature, including ourselves. We experiment on and torture animals. We enslave, hate, and harm other groups of people.

Race, immigrant status, dress choices, sexual orientation, social class, religion, gender, politics, need I go on? Our degrading behavior is promoting fascism and division everywhere.

Dehumanizing someone or anything reduces their agency and value. Many assume they're immune to this feature, but tests disagree.

It's inevitable. Humans are wired to have knee-jerk reactions to differences. We are programmed to dehumanize others, and it's easier than we'd like to admit.

Why do we do it, though?

Dehumanizing others is simpler than humanizing things for several reasons. First, we consider everything unusual as harmful, which has helped our species survive for hundreds of millions of years. Our propensity to be distrustful of others, like our fear of the unknown, promotes an us-vs.-them mentality.

Since WWII, various studies have been done to explain how or why the holocaust happened. How did so many individuals become radicalized to commit such awful actions and feel morally justified? Researchers quickly showed how easily the mind can turn gloomy.

Stanley Milgram's 1960s electroshock experiment highlighted how quickly people bow to authority to injure others. Philip Zimbardo's 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment revealed how power may be abused.

The us-versus-them attitude is natural and even young toddlers act on it. Without a relationship, empathy is more difficult.

It's terrifying how quickly dehumanizing behavior becomes commonplace. The current pandemic is an example. Most countries no longer count deaths. Long Covid is a major issue, with predictions of a handicapped tsunami in the future years. Mostly, we shrug.

In 2020, we panicked. Remember everyone's caution? Now Long Covid is ruining more lives, threatening to disable an insane amount of our population for months or their entire lives.

There's little research. Experts can't even classify or cure it. The people should be outraged, but most have ceased caring. They're over covid.

We're encouraged to find a method to live with a terrible pandemic that will cause years of damage. People aren't worried about infection anymore. They shrug and say, "We'll all get it eventually," then hope they're not one of the 30% who develops Long Covid.

We can correct course before further damage. Because we can recognize our urges and biases, we're not captives to them. We can think critically about our thoughts and behaviors, then attempt to improve. We can recognize our deficiencies and work to attain balance.

Changing perspectives

We're currently attempting to find equilibrium between opposites. It's superficial to defend extremes by stating we're only human or wired this way because both imply we have no control.

Being human involves having self-awareness, and by being careful of our thoughts and acts, we can find balance and recognize opposites' purpose.

Extreme anthropomorphizing and dehumanizing isolate and imperil us. We anthropomorphize because we desire connection and dehumanize because we're terrified, frequently of the connection we crave. Will we find balance?

Katrina Paulson ponders humanity, unanswered questions, and discoveries. Please check out her newsletters, Curious Adventure and Curious Life.

And morning water bottle struggles.

Welcome to my TikTok, where I share my stay-at-home life! I'll show you my usual day from morning to night.

I rise early to prepare my guy iced coffee. I make matcha, my favorite drink. I also fill our water bottles, which takes time and effort, so I record and describe the procedure. As you see me perform the unthinkable by putting a water bottle in a soda machine, you'll see my magnificent but unowned condo. My lover has everything, including:

1. In the living room, a sizable velvet alabaster divan. I was unable to use the words white or sofa in place of alabaster or a divan since they are insufficiently elegant and do not adequately convey how opulent the item is. The price tag on the divan was another huge feature; I'm sure my lover wouldn't purchase any furniture for less than $20k because it would be beneath him.

2. A plush Swiss coffee-colored Tabriz carpet. Once more, white is a color associated with the underclass; for us, the wealthy, it's alabaster or swiss coffee. Sorry, my boyfriend is wealthy; I'm truly in the same situation. And yet, I’m the one whos freeloading off of him, not you haha!

3. Soft translucent powder is the hue of the vinyl wallcoverings. I merely made up the name of that hue, but I have to maintain the online character I've established. There is no room for adopting language typical of peasant people; I must reiterate that I am wealthy while they are not.

I rest after filling our water bottles. I'm really fatigued from chores. My boyfriend is skeptical about hiring a housekeeper and cook. Does he assume I'm a servant or maid? I can't be overly demanding or throw a tantrum since he may replace me with a younger version. Leonardo Di Caprio's fault!

After the break, I bring my lover a water bottle. He's off to work with my best wishes. After cleaning the shower, I text my BF saying I broke a nail. He charged $675 for a crystal-topped shellac manicure. Lucky me!

After this morning's crazy choirs, especially the water bottle one, I'm famished. I dress quickly and go to the neighborhood organic-vegan-gluten-free-sugar-free-plasma-free-GMO-free-HBO-free breakfast place. Most folks can't afford $17.99 for a caffeine-free-mushroom-plus-mud-and-electrolytes morning beverage. It goes nicely with my matcha. Eggs Benedict cost $68. English muffins are off-limits. I can't make myself obese. My partner said he'd swap me for a 19-year-old Eastern European if I keep eating bacon.

I leave no tip since tipping is too much pressure and math for me, so I go shopping.

My shopping adventures have gotten monotonous. 47 designer bags and 114 bag covers Birkins need their own luggage. My babies! I've never caught my BF with a baby. I have sleeping medications and a turkey baster. Tatiana is much younger and thinner than me, so I can't lose him to her. The goal is to become a stay-at-home wife shortly. A turkey baster is essential.

After spending $955 on La Mer lotions and getting a crystal manicure, I nap. Before my boyfriend's return, I can nap for 5 hours.

I wake up around 4 pm — it’s time to prepare dinner. Yes, I said “prepare for dinner,” not “prepare dinner.” I have crystals on my nails! Do you really think I would cook? No way.

My husband's arrival still requires much work. I clean the kitchen, get cutlery and napkins. I order UberEats while my BF is 30-45 minutes away.

Wagyu steaks with Matsutake mushroom soup today. I pick desserts for my lover but not myself. Eastern European threat?

When my BF gets home from work, we eat. I don't believe in tipping UberEats drivers. If he wants to appreciate life's finer things, he should locate a rich woman.

After eating, we plan our getaway. I requested Aruba's fanciest hotel for winter and expect a butler. We're bickering over who gets the butler. We may need two.

Day's end, I'm exhausted. Stay-at-home girlfriends put in a lot of time and work. Work and duties are never-ending.

Before bed, I shower and use a liquid gold mask in my 27-step makeup procedure. It's a French luxury brand, not La Mer.

Here's my day.

Note: I like satire and absurd trends. Stay-at-home-girlfriend TikTok videos have become popular recently.

I don't shame or support such agreements; I'm just an observer. Thanks for reading.